You’ve heard the saying at least a zillion times: it’s all about the bride! While I’ve never understood why people don’t include the groom in this saying (or “it’s all about the couple”), it’s the idea that entire focus wedding day is should be on just on one or two people, that I find to be the most shocking.
When Chris and I were seeking a wedding photographer, I contacted a photographer whom was widely known in the photography community. I’d be following her online for some time and found her bride & groom and detail photos to be beautiful. Upon contacting her, I explained that it was extremely important to me that my wedding was documented to also include photos of my guests.
Her response floored me.
She went on to explain that she focuses on the bride and groom during the entire wedding day and that it was best that I seek another photographer if I wanted photos of guests.
Her reply has left me thinking that she cared more about being published in a pretty magazine than she cared about fully capturing one of the most important days of our lives.
Couples write and re-write their guest list about a dozen times before getting to the final draft. They are inviting the people most important to them to share an intimate day and celebrate a huge milestone, so it’s baffling to think that the guests shouldn’t be included in the photos as well.
Unfortunately, this mindset isn’t that rare for photographers. I’ve read many comments in photo forums along the lines of “My job isn’t to photograph the guests. I’m there to follow the bride and groom”.
But…I thought as photographers we are supposed to show the importance and value of photos?
This past year, NINE people I have photographed at weddings have passed away. It completely breaks my heart when I receive an email asking for photos I had taken of their daughter, parent, grandparent, or friend. Sometimes, I beat myself up, wishing I had taken more photos of that particular guest, feeling as though I’ve failed loved ones left behind. I then remind myself that the photos I have taken will help give these grieving families comfort.
If you are in the process of searching for a wedding photographer, please stress how important it is that they include photos of all of your guests. It may seem like a trivial request now but I assure you, one day these photos will be your most valued possessions.