I was never one of those girls who had dreamed of her wedding day as a little girl. It could be because my sister wanted to play “Barbie gets married” every day or maybe just because some girls just aren’t as into the whole wedding day thing.
When it came time for Chris and I begin wedding planning, I knew one thing for certain: referring it to as “our special day” made me gag. I didn’t view our upcoming wedding as “the best day of my life”, because in my eyes the best day of my life was the day I met the boy who I would end up one day marrying. It’s not that I wasn’t excited to marry Chris. (Heck, I’m still giddy when I sign my name as Mrs. Moss!) Chris and I have had so many amazing times together; I just couldn’t label our wedding ‘as the best’. I read an article in a magazine which described my feelings perfectly (you can view it here, if you’re interested).
It didn’t take long for others to begin criticizing me in my choice of not referring to our wedding as ‘special’ or ‘best’. I was asked why I was so unhappy about getting married, if I really thought Chris was the right person. I couldn’t understand why anyone would care what words I used to describe my wedding.
When it came time to dress shop, Chris had mentioned that he had wanted me to stay traditional and wear white. Instead, I chose a gorgeous blue. I kept the color of the dress secret until he saw it on the day of our wedding. I had shown the dress to a few people, one of which made a comment that I was referred to as disrespectful, refusing to do the one thing my future husband truly cared about. That comment broke my heart in half and I became angry. Still wanting it to be a secret, I couldn’t explain to Chris why I had suddenly become so upset. When our wedding day finally came, Chris instantly knew why I hadn’t chosen white. He understood I needed to wear that ice blue hue as a way to have my nan there with us. (Just another reason why I love him!)
Odds are if you are reading this, you already know about my Vegas obsession. Chris and I opted to plan our reception at a venue with a casino, it wasn’t too far away from us and suited us perfectly. Unfortunately, guests had other opinions. Although it was only an 1:45-2:00 hour drive, they complained that it should be closer to where they lived, so they didn’t have to spend the night at a hotel – even if it meant Chris and I having to spend thousands more. Sounds pretty crazy, huh?
So often I hear brides tell me that they wish they had just eloped. It usually isn’t the stress of planning or financials that makes them feel this way either. It is the comments they receive, being told what they should or shouldn’t for on their day. It’s being told they should have chosen chicken instead of fish, that roses aren’t meant for a wedding, that the bridesmaids dresses are such a bad choice for the season…
Each time one of these harmless comments are made, a bride’s heart breaks a little more. It breaks my heart every time I hear a frustrated bride tell me she can’t enjoy her wedding planning experience…because it just shouldn’t be that way. This is a once in a lifetime experience and it should feel amazing, not result in unnecessary drama or stress. I spent a lot of my wedding planning days in tears and my overall wedding experience sucked, but in a way, it was kinda my fault. I should have shut these people down and followed my own rules of how to avoid unwanted wedding opinions.
Brides, if you are feeling overwhelmed by outside comments and opinions, it’s okay to excuse yourself from the conversation. Explain you have put so much time and thought into your planning and you would love for the final results to be a surprise for everyone invited.