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They say that every little girl dreams of her wedding day, but I have to disagree with the word ‘every’. As a child, I couldn’t care less about throwing on a white dress and pretty shoes or anything else that falls under the “dream” category.  I think it may have to do with the fact that my sister made Barbie and Ken get married EVERY day.  Now, with less than a year before I marry this pretty amazing boy, I still pretty much feel the same way.

Planning my own wedding seems like such a chore, yet I still love hearing brides get excited about planning their day, often refreshing my email awaiting to hear how their dress fittings, flower selections, and cake tastings went. The bride-to-be glow and light in the girls’ eyes gets me every time.

I found a dress that I fell in love with online. One problem: it was discontinued…six years ago. Rather than accepting that, I contacted every stop in the country to find out if they had one left. Yes, EVERY shop in the country. I actually found two stores that had it, one in South Dakota, which had my size and one a little over an hour from my house, that had one left 3 sizes too large. I figured I should probably check out the dress in person at the shop near me, just to make sure it was right for me.

The days leading up to my appointment, I began to dread having to go. I really can’t say why, I just had no interest in putting on a fluffy dress and standing in front of the mirror for hours (which according to TV, happens all the time). I was trying it on because I HAD to.

I think my appointment lasted 15 minutes, tops. I wanted to check the style and fit and be on my way. When the consultant asked if I wanted to wear it for a little while, I was puzzled. What was I supposed to do, just stare at myself, dance, twirl? I opted to take the dress off, turning down the opportunity to try any additional dresses, and headed out for a girls night out with one of my Maids of Honor.

When someone asks if it was exciting to try on my dress, I’m torn as to whether or not I should be honest. If I say no, will they think that I don’t really want to get married or will they understand that the exciting part is knowing that I’m soon I will “officially”take Chris’s name (hence the K. Moss)?

Never feel like you should act a certain way or be excited about certain aspects of your wedding. As long as your heart is beating like crazy when you think about spending forever with that person, that’s all that matters.

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