At first glance, the title of this post may seem a little spooky (or cool, depending who is reading this). While I have photographed a handful of Halloween weddings, in this case, ghosting has a totally different meaning.

Ghosting is when a person that you’ve been in contact with just completely disappears. Suddenly and without explanation, they’ll stop responding to emails and won’t return phone calls.

Of course it’s not limited to happening to just wedding photographers or others in the wedding industry, it sometimes even happens between friends or when dating someone new.

And it doesn’t feel good. At all.

I don’t believe in auto-responses and generic email templates, so I pour a lot of my heart into my replies to couples. Each sentence is carefully thought out, sometimes typed and retyped multiple times. Although this may be a bit more time consuming, I consider it to be part of the experience that each couple deserves. I’ll admit, this approach leaves me a little more vulnerable, always having my heart on my sleeve. I wouldn’t want to change it, though!

It’s no secret: Wedding planning is intense. There’s so much to keep track of, so many emails and phone calls going in and out, countless decisions to be made, and of course a bit of second-guessing yourself (should you have chosen sunflowers instead of lilies?).

It’s also possible that you may reach out to a few vendors who don’t fit what you’re looking for, whether it be price-wise or there just isn’t that personality connection. It’s sort of like dating, we all have a perfect match for each other, it just takes a little time to find it (unless you  marry the first person you ever date, but I think that’s rare). Whatever the reason, you just can’t envision them being part of you’re your life (or more specifically in this case, part of your wedding day) – and that’s okay!

Not  wanting to hurt someone’s feelings is a good thing, so if that’s the reason that you find it easier to click delete rather than respond, high five for trying to be thoughtful! Human nature makes it a total drag to contact someone and tell them “no”, BUT, it also feels lousy to be ignored. One of those Catch 22’s, huh?

Here’s the great thing, while it’s nice to share the reason why you don’t want to work with a photographer, you absolutely don’t have to share the details! Something as simple as “Thank you, but we have decided to go another direction” is simple and allows the photographer to remove you from their list (plus it will remove you from any additional contacts that you aren’t interested in receiving).Sure, it may stink to be the one to reject another person but a five second reply will be SO appreciated! 💙